Tag Archives: lonely

Fears

Sitting back here on this comfortable bamboo chair in my balcony sipping my tea with a cigarette in my hand and seeing some smoke not sure if its from the cig or tea or the smoke of fear. I just stood there as relaxed as possible but only physically but not mentally at all. This thought came into my mind “am I really getting old?” I’m not afraid of getting old cause years passing are just numbers I’m counting but deep inside I’m so alive, energetic, loving life and going out and learning and experimenting and reading, etc…. I love Life. 

However I was just thinking that now I’m sitting here all alone enjoying the lovely weather but alone. Where are my children? Where is my husband? Where are my friends? Well, the answer is that I spent all my life just for them. Now my children are not kids anymore. Each of them has his life now. My son got into college and living with his Grand parents cause they are closer to his University. My daughter is always with her friends, not strange at all as she reminds me of myself when I was her age. As for my husband, he comes back home from work late enough to have dinner and just sleep or watch TV for an hour and then sleep. No social life. I can’t reach my friends cause Im too far away from them and they dont want to hang out here in tagamo3 and I can go to them but my timing doesnt suit them unfortunately. So I was fearing that this will be my days till the end, just sitting here alone forever.

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Filed under Blogs, experience, family, fear, feeling, personal